Dear diary..

Thought about the past couple days. Never really thought like this before. Everything is changing and making a difference. And here it goes..

Jeremy..

You have made my life so much better since I met you . Ill never forget the time or place or where we met. Its so special to me. The first day I spent with you , all I did was keep hugging you . && now I know why all I ever wanted was a hug from you . To feel that embrace in your arms.. To feel special .. And to know that someone holding me does care about me. We really did hit it off from the start. Ill never forget the phone calls we had.. Or when it was Christmas time and I was wrapping gifts for my mom and dad and we were on the phone for over 4 hours or how about Christmas morning, when I called you at 8 am to tell you what gifts I got. Ive never done that with anyone else. I hardly talk to anyone on the phone and when I do I, it means something. Im so thankful for you giving me a chance and letting me come into your life when I did. You showed me how amazing my body is and that I am a good person. You helped change so many bad qualities about myself for example.. I never cared about my body till you showed me how much you liked it, you always were complimenting me always telling me I look amazing and to this day you still do tell me I have an amazing body. Just the other night you said about how when I wear a skirt you don¡¯t like it because everyone can look at me and that im not yours. You showed me that im beautiful and that im smart and I can get somewhere in life. When I was with you, my grades got better in school. I realized who my true friends are. I realized what priorities I need to worry about more than others. You showed me that I cant worry about things I cant fix and not to argue with my parents about shit I wont win about. You really showed me some of the best times of my life. I never cared about someone as much as I cared about you . I started to rely on you for many things . Some examples are.. I thought you would always be there for me, I thought you would always have my back , I thought that you would always care. I started to think a lot about things and realized that now that we are not together that I cant depend on you for really anything. I realized you are just my friend even though I would love for it to be more than that. But I must prove to you that I am changing things about myself.

Thank you for always taking the time to talk to me and listen to me through out the good and the bad. We did have a lot of our rough times and I did make a lot of mistakes. I wish I could take them back someway. I realized how wrong I was to do certain things. I realized I need to change those things about myself. I am looking at everything I have done wrong and never doing it again. I cant let this go. I cant let go of you . I cared about you so much. I loved you . I miss you. I miss your hugs . I miss your kisses. I miss us cuddling. I miss talking to you late at night. I miss hanging out with you . I miss all the things we did together. Not a minute goes by in my room where I don¡¯t think about you or wonder where you are or what your doing and if your really happy. As you said to me last night you are happier but your still not happy. I wish I could make you feel better. But sometimes I really do not know what to do . So many times I question things. And sometimes I do think way too much about things. I realized I need to talk to you more about things when stuff is wrong and I changed that about myself before. And you know the things I am going to work on to make myself a better person.

I am sorry for ever hurting you . I am sorry for upsetting you and making you mad at me. All I know is every time you have yelled at me I deserved it. I deserve for you to be mad at me. The stuff I did was wrong and you don¡¯t deserve what I did . I am so sorry for it all. All im asking is to give me time && I will show you the better side of me. Please. Its all I ask .

I will always love you .. Xo___________

Amy

You really impacted my life as well.. Maybe not as much as Jeremy or maybe not the same things as Jeremy but this all matters to me.

You are my best friend yet more. You are like the sister I never had. You have given me advice. Stayed by my side through it all and I have been by your side for it all as well. You have changed so many things about me. I will never forget the good and the bad. We never fought like I did with anyone else. We really understand each other a lot and I think we both respect each other. You are such an awesome girl. I can tell you anything and I never have to worry that you judge me. I can also tell you things and know that you are not going to tell everyone else. We have so many secrets with each other and I trust you . I trust you more than probably all my friends with shit.

I have really gotten close to you this whole summer and the start of this school year. I will always remember our awesome car rides . And I will never forget the drive through at Taco Bell or just driving around in general. Our almost like 4 or 5 fatal car crashes.. And my wonderful screams.. Or how about driving through center city Allentown and me yelling at that guy and he kept watching us. The awesome parties we throw together. Yes girl , you know they rock. LoL. All the fun we have together.. Like shopping at the mall or getting lost going to the mall. You really showed me how much of a better person I can be. And im glad I can talk to you about all the stuff that has gone on with me . Thanks for all the advice you gave and have given me about me n Jeremy. No one can really relate that much to that shit except for you ¡¦ or atleast you know where im coming from with most of this shit. You have always let me cry on your shoulder. Thank you amy for all the good times we have had together.. But I cant let out us camping in your back yard.. And the tent falling and me screaming because I thought there was a killer outside the tent lol. Or how about making dinner for your parents anniversary. It has been a blast .. I hope we stay this close forever.. You are such an amazing best friend.. I love you . <3

Kayla

Wow where to start with us.. We have definitely had some unforgettable moments together especially in nursing class. Nursing has really made us close. Im glad you decided to do nursing because I would have dropped out of nursing by now if you weren¡¯t there for me. Thanks for always talking to me in class when I needed it or being there for me through so many hard times ive had. Im just glad I can talk to someone about all the drama that goes on and feels the same way about things as I do . I have a feeling this year we are going to get really close and im glad. It was werid not talking as much over the summer time. I love it how in class everyone thinks we hang out like 24/7 just because we talk a lot lol.. We got a lotta classes together this year so im definitely happy .. English and science should be really interesting. I love you <3

Sarah M.

Well girl we have known each other for awhile and we have had the hard times as well as the good times. We have gone through a lot and we made it back friends. A lot has changed over the past years.. We both started listening to different music.. And started dressing differently.. We have something in common though.. DDR lol besides that its easy to talk to you and you seem to be there for me a lot. Im glad we are still friends through all the fights we had. I love you <3

.. If I forgot anyone else im really sorry.. But those are the main people I talk to anymore about everything..

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess

I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

I don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I've tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

Incomplete

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

well im done  spilling out my heart for now.. if i feel the need for anything else.. ill finish it up

<3 kristi

i feel like im living a fairytale

i tried wishing upon a star..

Dream a little

its pretty hard

living life each

day you wake up..

The Only Way I

Get Through the

 Night Is Knowing That

I ' ll See You Tomorrow.

cant you see

 ..that i love you